Psychic Love Advice (34)
'Relationships were never meant to be easy' i have heard said before, but sometimes they can feel downright impossible. Unfortunately, while school may have taught us the name of the important historical figures or the world largest rivers, most of us have never been taught how to deal with the emotional challenges that a relationship presents. If we are not careful we simply tend to repeat the patterns of our parent's relationships, for good or bad.
Origin Psychics have worked to support clients in developing more successful and meaningful relationship for many years now. Our wisdom comes through helping clients to learn both to trust their intiutions in relationships and also to uncover deeper patterns and habits that might be blocking us from creating the kind of relationship you really want.
Our belief at Origin Psychics is that the need for fulfilling and meaningful relationships is one of the most basic requirements for human happiness. Our relationship advice articles offer real life, practical approaches on how to deal with some of the most common issues and problems that our clients ring us about everyday.
Safety is one of the basic rights we often take for granted in modern, western society. If someone asked you what was wrong, you would rarely think, "I don't feel safe". Yet more and more I am finding that a lack of safety is lurking behind a lot of common feelings clients share in their readings.
Rosalie's Story...
Rosalie was by all accounts a very strong and empowered woman. She had left an abusive marriage early on in her life and gone on to educate herself in Psychology and work as a social worker, helping people who, like herself, were struggling in difficult circumstances. However a theme seemed to emerge in our readings where Rosalie would doubt everything she had built in her life. She had formed a relationship with Cliff which was progressing in a healthy way, she was being recognized in her work and more and more opportunities were coming her way. Actually her life was great and all her dreams had come true.
Many clients have called me in a state of frustration about their relationship - they feel discontent with their relationship, but not necessarily unhappy. But most of all, they feel quite powerless to effectively change matters - to communicate their discontent to their partner in a way which is heard. The following is an email I received from a client of mine, and my response to her questions. (The names have been changed to respect her privacy.)
Dear Cathy,
I frankly feel a bit ungrateful writing to you about my relationship... I tell myself I should be content – I have a relationship now with a lovely man, who regularly tells me he loves me. We've been together for over year, and when we spend time together, we get on really well. It is such an improvement on my marriage, I can't tell you! That was quite dis-functional, and it took me some time to overcome my depression after I left him.
But I'm afraid I'm not happy. I can't talk to my friends about it – they all think I'm so fortunate to have found such a lovely new partner. I do love him, and I know that he loves me. I'm not even sure why I'm not happy. I certainly don't want to move in with him. Nor do I even want to think about another marriage. Should I step back from this relationship? Will it develop or just drift along like this? Can you help me?
Intuition or Paranoia – Are your feelings telling you the truth?
Written by Cathy Cox
It was in early spring when Janet felt something was wrong. It was difficult to put her finger on it. It was an indescribable, almost physical sensation - A pit of anxiety in her belly. - A deep sense of foreboding. On the surface everything was fine. Her relationship with her Husband Mike seemed fine. The kids were doing OK at school. Yet, the feeling just wouldn't shake itself off. Was she just a bit worn out? Perhaps, she just needed a break?
Recently, several clients have expressed to me how difficult they are finding it to build both friendships and love relationships. The common perception is that the problem lies externally and therefore is beyond their control - so they feel unable to do anything to change the situation, or to create the relationships they are seeking in life.
The energy I pick up around these readings helps me get a feel for what is creating this situation and allows me to guide my clients so that they can get a better understanding of what is underlying the issues, so that they can start to make decisions about what will empower them to change the situation.
Truth or Dare – Relationship game players – Are you one?
Written by Cathy Cox
To a certain extent we all play games in our relationships. Any person who harbors at least a little bit of fear, insecurity or distrust will play them at some point.
However, in my readings I have often encountered people who are in relationships with, or are themselves, professional game players. Often these people can no longer see the line between the game and the reality. They have worn so many masks, that they no longer remember what their real face looks like. From a relationship perspective, these people are quite dangerous, or if you are one, you are in danger of having a life of destructive relationships.
How to stop feeling lonely at Christmas, even if you’re surrounded by people…
Written by Cathy Cox
It is strange how Christmas can really highlight how alone you feel. Even when surrounded by family or great nights out with friends, we can still feel pangs of a deep sadness from an unmet need. There are many reasons for this, beginning with our family of origin and extending out into the society in which we live today. Yet blaming our society or our parents does not help to shift the feeling that can grow into a strong feeling of depression or obsessive fixation on someone who will make the difference.
One of the most common challenges we face in our relationships is around communication, or the lack of it. This month, Sheila Jones shares a ‘case study’ of just such a situation...
Sue was a client of mine who had a real challenge in her marriage, all centering on a very difficult pattern of communication. She and her husband Mike had been together for almost fifteen years, married for five. When she first called me, Sue was feeling that Mike had become very distant to her, and that he would never be open about what was wrong, just saying that everything was fine. He blew hot and cold all the time and Sue was feeling rather unloved and lonely.
Relationship Myth Busters: Is there really any such thing as ‘The One’?
Written by Cathy Cox
Most of us would assert that our loved ones, and our relationships with them, are what we value in life more than anything else. And psychological study after psychological study has supported this notion in recent decades. The questions asked by our clients in psychic readings also, not surprisingly, reflect this - without any doubt, the vast majority of the readings we do at Origin Psychics are to do with questions about relationships in one form or another. Naturally, too, most of these are to do with romantic relationships.
In a recently released "Taking Sex Differences Seriously," Steven Rhoads argues that men are "fundamentally more selfish." Unlike women, "they're simply less interested in people. And they're less empathetic." He points towards many studies which show from an early age boys pay less attention to people, and more attention to things. For example, as early as the age of 5 weeks a baby girl can identify the cry of another baby, whereas this is much later for a boy child. Boy babies will tend to pay more attention to geometric shapes and flashing lights, where as girl babies will spend twice as much time looking into a person’s eyes than a boy baby.
Now I know you are now thinking “Men are selfish and self-centered. Tell me something I don’t already know!” But the point of this article is about how we deal with the reality of selfishness in our everyday relationships. We may make jokes about how big egotists men can be, but war of the sexes aside, how do we really make a relationship work when our partner seems to be so selfish.
I feel there is a true connection... but I don’t even know him
Written by Cathy CoxCamera zooms in...
Man sees woman sitting at tube stop. She looks distant and almost ethereal. In the bustle and commotion of the crowded station she stands alone. Beautiful, stunning. His world has stopped.
Woman sees man. Fumbling and clumsily trying to work his way through the mad push of the tube, his vulnerable and child-like innocence seems completely at odds with the world around him. She stares. Her life has changed.
Camera Pans out.
Born Again Lover - Healing from relationship hurt
Written by Gaye WrightIt’s easy to give up on love when you have been hurt and disappointed by a relationship that went sour or didn’t live up to your expectations. You might try to look on it as a spiritual exercise in letting go, and that is one perspective. You might look at it as a lesson you had to learn, and that is another perspective. You can look at it as a cruel trick that life has played on you, and that is yet another perspective. We find many and varied ways of dealing with a relationship that has left us feeling under confident and unloved.
Why is your relationship past is still haunting you....
Written by Cathy Cox
Hidden within every single one of us are ghosts - the remnants of unresolved and intense emotional encounters. Everyone has ghosts because everyone has a past. Some people are just better at seeing their ghosts than others. Our subconscious collects our experience, and if all goes well, will process our experiences. We'll learn from them, discard what is not useful, and finally integrate each new piece of information into our sense of Self and the World. However, if experiences cannot be processed, they continue to roam the subconscious emerging in dreams, desires, and fears. Most commonly, they emerge as broken records, experiences that just repeating around and around, always ending in the same manner.
Is monogamy possible – on sexual games, cheating and the Jerry Springer Show
Written by Cathy CoxMoral outrage is the daytime diet of millions of America each day. American love to boo, hiss and condemn all the adulterers, deviants and general white trash of America who decide that national television is the most therapeutic way to resolve their relationship dilemmas. Trash tabloid and magazines like National Enquirer or the News of the World also love to hound the same hapless adulterers and deviants at the other end of the social scale – no pedophilic pop stars of murderous movie mogul is beyond the eye of the media machine.
Men who are frightened of change - Can an old dog learn a new trick?
Written by Cathy CoxAre you waiting for him to change? Cathy Cox explores the question of whether someone is truly capable of change or whether hanging on to a relationship that isn't meeting your needs just prolongs the agony.
The ancient roman/greek myth of Psyche and Eros describes perfectly the trials and tribulations of the love affair. It is strange how something written so long ago, describing the dramatic actions of gods, is still playing itself out in our love adventures today.
The myth of Psyche and Eros is the love story that gave birth to all love stories. It begins with a conflict (of course) and ends with a triumph... Psyche was a beautiful girl, so beautiful that men in the land began to worship her and stopped worshipping Aphrodite, the goddess of love and relationships. This angered Aphrodite so much that she sought to have her son cast a spell on Psyche. Upon seeing Psyche, Eros fell deeply in love with her and could not do her any harm.
