Conquer Your Inner Saboteur

Do you dream of finding your soulmate or making friends outside your social circle?

Perhaps you keep people at a distance by avoiding social situations. Maybe you only let the wrong kind of people in, or you frequently jeopardise promising relationships.

Often we don’t mean to spoil things for ourselves, but if you’re used to things going wrong, when things go right it can feel scary and raise fears such as rejection, humiliation, hurt or abandonment.

How we relate to our fears determines how well we conquer them. This exercise helps you move through anxiety, rather than remain stuck in it. Our voice of fear – a defence mechanism we employ to look out for us – often just needs to be acknowledged and understood. Listen to the message your fear is trying to communicate, then call in the voice of faith that allows you to believe in yourself.

Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Imagine yourself floating deep within yourself and tapping into the voice of your fear.

Ask what it it’s trying to protect you from. Listen without judgement, and with curiosity and compassion.

Say out loud: “I hear you, I understand you and I appreciate you looking out for me.

Follow this by giving your fearful side the reassurance it needs, and find a way to work with it, not against it. When you soothe your fear, you allow that part of you to open up to new possibilities.

Now call the voice of faith, which is the inner part that lifts you up and believes in you. What does this voice say? Does this voice feel safe and loving? Ask the voice what amazing possibilities would open themselves up to you if you were able to overcome self-sabotage in this area.

Make a commitment to spend five minutes tuning into the voice of faith each morning, afternoon and before you go to bed. By standing in your faith you allow a deep sense of safety to flourish and for trust and courage to grow.